Mary Lou envisioned living a life different from the chaotic “normal” that had been set by her family. Unpredictable behaviour, silence, secrets, addiction, tragedy, and trauma; she yearned for a life where she felt calm, peaceful, worthy, relaxed, in tune with her breath, and ultimately felt a sense of belonging. In an effort to feel safe and whole, Mary Lou internalized perfectionism and people pleasing, believing her worth was determined on her ability to fix problems and create happiness for her family. She was her family's sponge, absorbing all that was hard and challenging; all because of the belief that families are where our first loyalties should be held to. It was the desire to be accepted by her family that almost ended her life.
Not knowing what it was to have boundaries, Mary Lou suffered from strained relationships, disordered eating patterns, severe panic attacks, debilitating anxiety. She was 5’9 and 98 pounds; burnt out and had a breakdown. On the brink of giving up, she knew she needed to show up for her children and deserved to show up for herself. Hanging up her titles of “Fixer” and “Perfectionist”, replacing them proudly with her new titles of “Cycle Breaker” and “Outcast”. Through the creation of boundaries, new habits, radical acceptance, and finding solace in the female community Mary Lou chose herself.
Together in this week's episode, Mary Lou and I reflect on how not being “in charge” of everyone else's responsibilities releases us from anger and resentment, welcoming freedom into our lives.
Learn more and connect with Mary Lou
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Insta: https://instagram.com/overcoming_family_chaos
Mary Lou's Dance Tunes:
1 -Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
2 -Modern Love – David Bowie
3 -Count on Me – Bruno Mars
Are you feeling like a Hot Mess…Not sure where to begin?
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